My husband gets angry so violently that he breaks and smashes things. This has been a cycle for a long time.?

Your daughter is right, call an abuse hotline! He is out of control and one day it might be you or your disabled son he loses control on. He has some severe anger problems and if he is refusing all help, then its beyond your control. He can leave with his paycheck, it happens all the time, you will get child support though. You need to seek help for you and your three children.